Operation New Me: Week 6

   
   
Monday: Ah a new week and one that doesn’t involve ovulation or Aunt Flo! Grace and I did heaps of walking today. So much so that she was physically knackered by the end of the day! I reckon that’s big tick for cardio day.  Also, hubby is away for work this week and I am working tomorrow and Wednesday so let’s see how I go with no support. I cut up a million carrots and capsicums and whipped up a bunch of fruit-free protein balls for a week’s worth of snacks for Grace and I. I also made a big container of quinoa ready to use for my lunches with week to be paired with greens, boiled egg, tuna and seeds.

Tuesday: As a reward for completing Kayla Itsine’s 4 weeks of pre training, I bought myself a Fitbit Charge HR! I set it all up today and was surprised to see that I am NOT EATING ENOUGH. Seriously, especially on days when I do my Kayla workouts. Could not believe it. To get a calorie allowance, you have to enter in a goal weight, I entered my current weight as my goal weight as I don’t want to lose any. Well, I struggled to eat that many calories! I will be including more fats going forward. I was so tired this evening after a shitty sleep last night but I still smashed Legs & Cardio for Week 2. Felt amazing after too! I had to have a protein smoothie with 15 almonds followed by two corn thins topped with vegemite and half an avocado to meet my calorie allowance! I definitely do not want to become one of those crazy calorie counting people BUT I do want to make sure I am eating enough to build lean muscle.

Wednesday: Cardio day today and my goal is to complete 10k steps using my Fitbit to track them. Yesterday, did 11k steps without even trying so it should be a breeze. I literally do 3k steps before I even leave the house in the morning with all my running around packing bags, getting Grace and I ready etc!

Thursday: Today was weird. After I got Grace off to preschool this morning, I just felt so lazy. I think I was still sleep deprived as had two shitty nights sleep earlier in the week. It took me forever to get going. I must have schlepped around the house for like 3 hours!!! Then I was like “snap out of it!!” So I dragged my ass downstairs, put on some tunes and pushed through Week 2’s Arms and Core workout. Although it was pure torture, my upper body IS getting so much stronger and I felt super energised after my workout! 

Friday: Rest day! Pizza again for cheat night. I know I said I would have something different this week it was honestly the only thing I wanted again and it was so good. I only ate three pieces and I was stuffed!! 

Saturday: Had my family over today and then an appointment in the afternoon so I squeezed in 2x 10 minute jump rope sessions. One in the morning and one in the evening. I also did 15 minutes of yoga last night to stretch out. I am really loving the jump rope. It gets my heart right up and burns heaps of calories in only 10 minutes!

Sunday: Ugh, this weekend has been so busy with visitors, I’ve struggled to make time to workout. This morning, my hubby took Grace to the park for an hour so I could squeeze in Week 2’s total body workout. It was so hard. My elbows, which are completely shredded from doing commandos, started bleeding profusely right in the middle of circuit 2! Bit of a shock and a spanner in the whole session but I did manage to get a couple of band aids on and keep going. I think I need to start doing those on a soft surface from now on. Ouch! Week 2 is done! 

What killed me this week: 

  • Commandos! They completely wore the skin off my elbows!   
  • Hubby being away and having to juggle Grace, work and exercise on my own
  • Crunches

What made me stronger: 

  • Hubby being away and learning to really make time to exercise even when it feels like I don’t have time! 
  • Push-ups (I can actually do real ones now!!) 
  • Jump rope

Operation New Me: Week 5

Monday: Hrm should have stretched after smashing out 30 mins of jump rope last night! I had the worst sleep because my legs were like painful and cramping. Completely my fault. Just going to do some light stretching today so I don’t do further damage! 

Tuesday: I was at a clients office all day today so I saved my workout for the evening. After I got Grace off to sleep, I completed Week 1 Workout 1, Legs and Cardio, from Kayla Itsines 12 week bikini body guide. I cannot believe I have already completed 4 weeks of pre training!! This is the longest I have ever stuck with a fitness program. I felt really strong in tonight’s workout. I am completing the circuits much quicker now, nearly two times over in each 7 minute block! Smashed the burpees! Seriously, felt amazing afterwood. I also did 15 minutes of yoga to stretch out after. 

Wednesday: At the same client again today. Today’s exercise will be a tonne of walking that I’ve spaced out across the day. As a mum, I don’t like to pressure myself with having to have an hour block every single day where I can focus on working out because let’s be real, what mum has time like that?? On LISS (low intensity steady state) days, I always perform walking outdoors and it’s usually broken up over the day. Like 20mins here, 15mins there etc. All up today I have walked around 7kms which included hills that got my heart rate right up. 

Thursday: I love Thursdays! Thursday is the day Grace goes to preschool and I stay home to get things done and basically just have a day to myself. I had a few things on today so I completed Workout 2, Arms and Core, before I did anything else. Will Arms get easier??! Probably not. To be honest, even though it’s the hardest part of my body to workout, I’m really loving Kayla’s Arms circuits. I already can notice a huge difference in the way my arms look (not so scrawny anymore) and the they ARE getting stronger. Can’t complain about that! 

Friday: miserable, freezing, wet day in Sydney today. Grace had a dentist appointment this morning which we went to but apart from that, we stayed in and spent the day painting and watching movies. Hubby brought home pizza again for my cheat meal, bless him. I ate three pieces with a couple of glasses of red and felt sick!  I think my body is just loving the clean foods too much. Might try something else for my cheat meal next week. No exercise today. 

Saturday: Cardio day! I’m really enjoying jump rope at the moment because it’s just so easy. I can do it in the comfort of my warm house at any time of the day which works perfectly for me right now. Today I did about 25 minutes. On another note, I’m feeling so bloated! I think it’s because I’m about to ovulate but wondering if it’s because I ate too much bread this week? Really need to cut back on the bread, I don’t think it’s agreeing with me. 

Sunday: Ugh. Anyone else get horrible PMS when they ovulate? I do and sometimes it’s worse than actual PMS! Usually hits me the day before and the day of ovulation and today was it. I felt bloated, sluggish and sleepy all day! The 4 glasses of wine I had last night probably didn’t help either! I did not want to work out at all but my hubby encouraged me this evening so I sucked it up and JUST DID IT. I am so proud of myself. The old me would have totally made a million excuses and vegged in front of a movie but I actually did it. Workout 3 of week 1, Full Body, completed!!

What killed me this week: 

  • Not being home for lunch and having to find clean cafe options (not easy!) 
  • Too much bread due to 👆🏻
  • Ovulation 
  • Seriously, you try doing this 😰🔫  

What made me stronger: 

  • Hubby’s encouragement 
  • Following the progress of other #bbg girls on Instagram 
  • Always having clean snacks on hand 

Operation New Me: How I eat

  Food. Ahhh food. It fuels us. It comforts us. It nourishes us. It kills us. 
I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. Partly because of the culture I grew up in. Partly due to lack of knowledge. Partly because it’s been the one thing throughout my childhood that remained constant. After all, chocolate never fails you. 
As I embarked on this journey to become a New Me, I knew and was terrified of the fact that I was going to have to drastically change the way that I eat. Those that know me, know that I eat fairly healthily. This is true. For the most part I always try to eat lots of fruit and veg and limit eating take out. However, my issue was with hidden sugars and portion sizes. Oh and hot chips. I could easily eat hot chips two or three times a week. As well as chocolate every night with my tea. Then there’s the corn chips and salsa that hubby and I indulge in every Saturday night with our wine. Anyway, you get the picture. Basically, I’ve been following a diet of eating mostly healthy foods with a side of eating whatever the hell I want, when I want. 

For some reason, I always believed that eating this way didn’t affect the way that I felt. However, now that I have changed the way that I eat, I can honestly look back and say that that is not true. I’ve never felt 100%. Until now.

I used Sarah Wilson’s I Quit Sugar book as a guide to clean up my diet. Eliminating all sugar except for a piece for fruit each day. The food I eat is mostly protein, vegetables, some carbs and fats. I always try to cook extra dinner so I can have leftovers for lunch the following day. 

Here’s a sample of what it looks like: 

Day 1 

Breakfast: 2 eggs scrambled and fried with diced tomato, capsicum, spinach (basically whatever I have in the fridge) in coconut oil. Served with a piece of sourdough bread. 

Snack: a carrot and red capsicum cut into sticks with a soy latte (I eat this snack practically every day!) 

Lunch: roast pumpkin salad with spinach, feta, pine nuts and tuna

Snack: protein smoothie with almond milk (no added sugar), half a banana, one scoop of this plant based protein, half a tablespoon of cacao, a tablespoon of peanut butter (all natural, no added sugar) and some spinach if I have any in the fridge 

Dinner: Mexican plate – grilled cumin spiced chicken breast, homemade tomato salsa, black beans, baby spinach, leftover quinoa 

Day 2

Breakfast: 2 eggs fried in coconut oil on 2 pieces of sourdough with Vegemite and avocado 

Snack: carrot and capsicum sticks 

Lunch: leftover clean Mexican plate 

Snack: 2 homemade protein balls 

Dinner: “spaghetti” bolognese with zucchini noodles (hubby and Grace have real pasta with theirs). I use my peeler to create the zucchini noodles. 

Breakfast ideas: 

2 eggs cooked the way you liked with any veg you like and a piece of toast 

Porridge with banana or berries 

Clean pancakes – blend 1 cup of oats, 2 bananas, 2 eggs, vanilla essence and cinnamon then cook with coconut oil 

2 eggs with avocado and Vegemite on toast 

Bacon and eggs 

Snack ideas: 

Vegetable sticks (I like carrot and capsicum) 

Vegetable juice 

Protein smoothie (I always add spinach to mine for extra veg) 

Protein balls 

Nuts and a piece of fruit  

Lunch and Dinner ideas: 

Any pasta dish with zucchini noodles instead of pasta 

Grilled chicken breast (I marinated mine in lemon juice, garlic and parsley for 10 mins before grilling) with roast pumpkin, spinach and feta salad  

Grilled salmon fillet with veg and sweet potato 

Can of tuna with sautéed vegetables 

Can of tuna and an egg with garden salad 

Roast pork with roasted vegetables 

Any protein and with any vegetables – you get the picture! 

Keep it simple and you will stick to it! 

Operation New Me: Week 4

   
   
Monday: Grace is sick. Very sick. She was in bed the entire day and hardly ate anything. I don’t know if these week’s workouts are going to happen… 

Tuesday: pretty sure she has the flu. Not a cold. The full blown flu. Today is her second day in bed. She hasn’t eaten but we are giving her lots of water. She did vomit last night and was up most of the night coughing. Hubby worked from home today so I went downstairs and completed the Legs and Cardio workout for Week 4 of pre training. I felt really strong in today’s workout, especially considering I’ve had no sleep. Kayla says that you should repeat each circuit as many times as you can for 7 minutes. For me, I try to make the circuit more quality and less quantity. For example, I use heavier weights which means it takes me longer to complete the reps but I think it works me harder. After all, I’m not trying to lose weight here, I just want to be stronger. 

Wednesday: Grace is still very sick and we are into day three of being in bed. I’ve made a doctors appointment and hoping to get her there today. There is nothing more heart wrenching as a mother than seeing your child suffering. I’ve made sure that hubby and I have continued to eat really clean so we can keep our strength up over the next week. We haven’t slept properly for three nights now so we need all the strength we can get! Needless to say, no exercising happened today. 

Thursday: She is finally starting to wake up a little and eat some water crackers! After the last three days of pretty much near unconsciousness, I’m so happy and relieved to see this progress. Unfortunately, no workout for me today. I’ve had my hands full with more important business – my baby. 

Friday: Grace was up out of bed today and we did quiet play in the house all day. Got to admit it, cabin fever is starting to set in. I’m so glad that tomorrow is Saturday and we will have Dad at home and my mum visiting so I can fit in a workout and just go to grocery store for half an hour. Tonight was cheat night  mostly due to the fact that we have run out of food and I haven’t been to the shops since last weekend. Hubby brought home some amazing pizza from a local Italian restaurant. Smashed five pieces. SO good.  

Saturday: Managed to fit in my second workout of the week in today!! Yeah! Better late than never. It was Arms and Core but it sure did kick my ass! I’m still struggling with the push-ups. I know I’ll get there but it’s frustrating that I have keep reverting to my knees. The ab excercises are my faves though. 

Sunday: Well I’ve opted out of the Full Body workout this week. I’ve just run out of days and it’s been one hell of a week. Tonight I did 30 minutes of jump rope and that’s it, I’m calling it a week! I know my progress isn’t going to be significant this week because I’ve done next to no cardio and only two out of three of the workouts but you know what, that’s life! I’ve stuck to my clean foods and I do not feel guilty one bit. My Gracie always comes first. 

What killed me this week: 

  • Grace being so sick 
  • Having no time to excercise or do anything other than care for my baby 

What made me stronger: 

  • Clean food! Kept me strong and alert. 
  • Catching up on sleep instead of exercising – when you’re averaging 4 hours of interrupted sleep a night due to a sick, coughing child, catching up is more important than working out 
  • Checking in regularly with my favourite bbg IG accounts to keep me motivated for next week! 

Operation New Me: week 3

  
   
Monday: Today was just one of those days where nothing went to plan. Grace and I were really excited to hit the trampoline centre for some fun cardio but unfortunately, it’s school holidays and the place beyond packed. Then after about 20 minutes of cautious jumping, a school holiday care group turned up with about 100 more kids! It was at the point where it was just not safe for Grace to bounce so we bounced (so to speak) out of there and went to the movies instead. Planned cardio didn’t really happen unfortunately. At least I stuck to my clean eating and whipped up the most amazing clean Mexican plate for dinner with cumin chicken breast, homemade salsa, black beans, spinach, avocado and leftover quinoa and sweet potato. Yum!

Tuesday: Today I completed the first workout of week 3 of the pre training portion of Kayla Itsines bikini body guide. It was a Legs and Cardio workout. During this workout, the use of weights is introduced. I mentioned last week that I had already started using weights for some of the moves (squats and lunges). However, today I increased my weights and used them as per the guide. This would totally kicked my butt.! My legs are the strongest part of my body but that was the toughest workout I’ve done so far. I cannot wait to see what my butt is going to look like at the end of this week!

Wednesday: had to spend the day with a client so I couldn’t fit in a proper cardio workout. I did, however, manage a tonne of walking and ate clean so not feeling guilty. 

Thursday: I had an old friend visit today while Grace was at preschool. I must say, I am not happy with my diet today. I didn’t eat anything “bad” per say, but just too much bread and then pasta for dinner. She brought a gorgeous loaf of sourdough from Bourke St bakery and it was just divine! Ate way too much of it though albeit with healthy toppings like avocado, tomato, feta and smoked salmon. After my friend left, I completed the Arms and Core Kayla Itsines workout  from Week 3 of the pre training guide. OMG. WTF. I honestly couldn’t even get through the second circuit. It was SO HARD. Hands down hardest workout yet. She also transitions to real push-ups in this workout (as opposed to on the knees). I’m pleased to say I was able to do about 10 but that was it. I had to go back down to my knees. Bloody hard work. 

Friday: woke up today with fresh resolve. I forgave myself about yesterday’s bread-fest and I’m moving on!! Had an awesome day of cleaning eating and doing fun activities with my girl. We did a tonne of walking today on the beach so cardio ✔️

Saturday: rest day/ cheat day! We all went for a check up at the dentist today and then out for lunch. Filled the tank with some sweet Thai food. I LOVE YOU CHEAT DAY!!

Sunday: totally body workout today and the last workout for Week 3 of pre training. I didn’t feel 100% strong for today’s workout. I think because my period is due in a couple of days? I’m feeling a bit slow and bloated in general but I pushed through it. Loved today’s circuits but struggled with the push ups as per usual. I’m trying to do as many regular push-ups as I can but I always end up back on my knees. On the bright side, I couldn’t even do one push-up before starting this program so PROGRESS! 

What killed me this week:  

  • Too much bread 
  • PMS
  • Mountain climbers plus a man push up. No. Just no. 

  •   After already attempting a zillion push-ups, I reach this move 👇🏻. Just rip my arms off. Seriously. 

 

  • 👇🏻Nuff said. 

 

What made me stronger:

  • Adding weights to the circuits 💪🏻 
  • Noticing how much what I eat affects the way I feel 
  • Doing yoga to stretch out after my circuits 
  • Getting creative with my food! 

Operation New Me – week 2

Monday: Alright ladies, it was cardio day today and I may have found THE BEST low impact cardio workout you can WITH YOUR KIDS. As we had been stuck inside all weekend due to the terrible weather, I decided to take Grace to a trampoline centre nearby. The centre was practically empty as it was a Monday morning so Grace and I had our pick of the place. We put on our socks and we were off. With bad pop music pumping we jumped, ran, attempted tricks, played chase and danced for a full hour. By the time we were done, I was completely puffed and sweaty. Awesome workout! WARNING FOR THE MAMAS: wear a panty liner or a pad because those bladder control issues will become quite obvious while jumping!

Tuesday: After yesterday’s endorphin rush, I was actually looking forward to my workout today. It was a Legs & Cardio BBG day and yup, it was bloody hard. At the moment, I am doing Kayla’s 4 week pre training, which is still bloody hard work for those of us who are terribly unfit, but I’ve added some weights into the Leg workouts this week which is not part of the guide. I just felt like I could handle it and I was right! I knew it would make the workout tougher but I want to see results quickly! 

Wednesday: I was really busy with work today so didn’t get a chance to do any cardio but made sure I walked as much I could and are very clean. 

Thursday: Arms today. Fuck push ups. Fuck burpees. Fuck tricep dips. Seriously. Dead. 

Friday: Cardio day today so Grace and I hot stepped it to the trampoline centre and bounced our troubles away for about an hour! Best and most fun (aside from dancing) cardio I have ever done. Can’t wait to get Grace (me) a trampoline for Xmas!! 

Saturday: I counted today as a rest and cheat day as we had a bunch of family over for the day and gorged ourselves on an Indian feast. Had a nice relaxing afternoon walk and enjoyed a couple of glasses of red wine. Perfect day :) 

Sunday: completed week 2 of pre training today with the total body workout and some yoga after to stretch it all out. My body is feeling so much stronger. I can actually get through 10 burpees without completely dying!! Back to clean eating today and feeling strong for week 3. Just took some progress photos and Oh.Em.Gee I can actually see a difference already!! 

  
   

Operation: New Me – week 1

 
Monday: Started cutting out some sugar today as per the detox plan. I think the hardest but will be cutting back on fruit because I eat a lot of it! Starting slow and then move to complete sugar removal in week 3. I haven’t eaten any sugar today except for an apple and my soy milk which has sugar in it. I made a massive quinoa salad using a recipe from the I Quit Sugar book which I think will last me all week for lunches. 

Tuesday: Going strong. Completed my first Kayla Itsine’s workout today, Week 1/Day 1 of the Pre Training part of her guide, which was legs and cardio focused. All of her workouts are 4 x 7 minutes circuits so 28 minutes total. It was HARD but I DID IT. I feel amazing. I also did 15 minutes of yoga after to stretch out. No sugar today except for my soy milk again. Bought this I Quit Sugar protein ball mix from Woolies and have been eating one as a morning snack each day. Grace loves them too! Had a bit of a headache today. Not sure if it’s to do with the diet changes? 

Wednesday: Had a bad nights sleep last night as Grace was coughing till about midnight but still felt good today! I went to work and was very focused and energised. I ate clean all day too and did not even crave any sugar. Legs are very sore from yesterday’s workout so I did 15 minutes in our sauna and 30 minutes of yoga tonight to stretch out. Headache again today. I’m thinking it’s definitely to do with the changes in my diet but I’m staying strong. 

Thursday: Psyching myself up for my workout today which is Arms and Core focused. My arms are by far the weakest part of my body. They are literally like sticks poking out the sides of my torso! Feeling a bit nervous about this. Clean eating is going strong and I’m feeling mentally very focused and clear. Didn’t have any sugar yesterday so today I made a banana cacao smoothie as a treat using unsweetened coconut and almond milk, ice, chia seeds, banana and cacao powder. Headache still there. 

Friday: Yesterday’s Arm and Core workout – DEAD. Oh my gosh, I am so bloody unfit!! I can hardly do a push up ON MY KNEES. By the end, my arms were shaking. The core focused moves weren’t too bad (they were still bloody hard!!) but my arms… wow… Feeling very sore today. Clean eating going strong! Unfortunately, I still have that headache. I had a glass of red wine last night and today I’m not feeling great because of it. Seems to have more of an effect on me than usual. 

Saturday: Feeling AMAZING today. No headache!! Smashed out workout 3/ week 1 of pre training this morning and then cleaned the house for 4 hours while hubby took Grace out. I made myself a protein smoothie post workout which had a banana and dates in it and it was actually too sweet for me! I struggled to finish it. Next week I’m going to start incorporating more cardio. Looking forward to rest day tomorrow and then it’s bring on week 2! 

 Sunday: Rest day! Couldn’t have picked a better day for it too as we are all stuck inside due to the terrible weather. Had my first cheat meal last night which was cheese and crackers with a couple of glasses of red wine. Bloody perfect. Made sure I drank a big glass of water between wine’s and before bed. Woke up this morning feeling grand. Back to clean eating today and I’m not craving sugar at all. Week 2 here I come!! 

Operation: New me

There are many reasons why I have decided to embark on this journey but the main ones are that I’m sick of feeling exhausted all the time, I want to have the physical and mental energy to make the most of my time with my daughter and I want to feel confident in a bikini for the first time ever.

I’ve always been skinny. Really skinny. Since I was a little girl, people have always commented on how tiny I am. Some people have even asked me if I have an eating disorder. I used to say “yeah, I eat too much!” Those of you who know me really well, know that I eat… A lot. Food is a huge part of my family’s culture and we love nothing more than coming together for a huge feast. The skinniness? I put it down to genetics, a very fast metabolism and youth. As I’m approaching the end of my twenties and since having a baby, my body is changing. I have aches and pains that I never used to. Not only is my body changing but I feel tired all the time. I don’t have that energy and exuberance that I had when I was 22. To be frank, I WANT IT BACK.

I bought Sarah Wilson’s I Quit Sugar book a couple of months ago with never the intent to actually do the detox but just use some of the recipes. I also subscribed to her Facebook page to pick up new recipes. Over the last month, I have felt increasingly tired and I don’t know why. Grace did have croup for a week which resulted in loss of sleep for everyone and then we did two weekends away which was pretty tiring too. Due to these disruptions in routine, our diets suffered also. Last week, I felt the worst I have in a long time. Really, really tired and lethargic. I was on Facebook one night when an I Quit Sugar post popped up in my newsfeed and that was it. I decided to just do it.

I’ve had the Kayla Itsines guides for a while too but never seriously committed to doing them. Kind of like I hoped that just by buying them, I would be fitter?? (HAH!) Once I made the decision to go through with the I Quit Sugar detox, I thought what the heck! Let’s make it a complete lifestyle overhaul and get moving too.

I’m going to post a weekly diary of how I have gone with the two programs and how I am feeling about it all. I’m hoping that blogging about will keep me motivated to stick with it. I want to make this my new way of life!

Life lately

  • Jetting off to warmer destinations
  • Enjoying balmy winter days at the beach at home
  • Endless pots of loose leaf tea
  • Embarking on the ‘I Quit Sugar’ detox
  • Focusing on getting fit and healthy for LIFE
  • Spending miserable, wet winter mornings crafting with Ma
  • Purchasing eucalyptus and bright pink chrysanthemums to brighten up our home
  • Sleeping in with my babe
  • Ditching the commute and working from home
  • Playing hide and seek at every single opportunity
  • Latino dance parties in the living room

  

                        

      

    

The only useful parenting book I’ve ever read

  
When I found out I was pregnant with Grace, I did what most western, first time mum’s do, went out and bought the books that explained to me how to do it. Duh.

What’s so weird though is that said books did not actually help me at all. In fact, most of the books I bought suggested I do things that, in all honesty, felt WRONG. Luckily, I’ve never been one to just do what I’m told so I promptly ignored the books and did what felt right for us. I’m pleased to say that three and half years later, after extended breast feeding, co sleeping and “giving into my child”, we are all alive, healthy and well adjusted (well sort of).

For the first three years of Grace’s life, my husband and I felt confident in following our instincts and responding to Grace whenever she needed us. It was pretty simple. Then something happened. Grace started to exhibit behaviour that of an independent person. She did not want to put clothes on in the morning. She did not want to eat her dinner. She most certainly did not want to wear socks. There are a million instances that I could list where Grace did not want to do what we wanted her to do. How dare she.

Where our instincts previously had always led us to respond to Grace gently, in these instances we naturally responded in a controlling manner. After all, we are the parents and she is the child. Counting to three, time outs, promises of rewards etc etc etc. You name it, we tried it. Unfortunately though, this well-touted tactic DID NOT WORK. In fact, the behaviour seemed to be getting worse.

After a particularly whiney post on Instagram regarding Grace’s emotional behaviour, a friend suggested I read a book. Yeah, I know, it’s another book BUT it’s not just another book. It’s called Out of Control: why disciplining your child doesn’t work and what will by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.

I’m not going to give you an in depth book review here (you can click on the link and read a bunch of reviews) but what I will tell you is that this book is the first parenting book I have read that actually made sense to me. It is the first parenting book that focuses on YOU, the parent, and your own dysfunction. It raises questions like; Why do we need to control our children? Why do we need to punish them? It is, after all, natural for a three year old to have emotional outbursts and to assert their independence. IT IS NATURAL. So why do mainstream parenting books suggest we put a lid on these little humans and their emotions? Why do we continue to communicate to our children that their feelings are unwanted? It is exactly this culture of control that breeds dysfunctional adults like you and me who perpetuate the cycle. Dr. Shefali Tsabary suggests that the rage that we feel when our children defy us is a mirror of our own dysfunction and our own childhood. Basically, because our emotions and feelings were stifled when we were children, they scream out in these highly charged moments with our own children.

If there is anyone out there who says that they are not dysfunctional or slightly emotionally retarded, I call you a liar. In fact, I openly admit that I am emotionally stunted. I was raised the way my mum was raised and that was through no fault of her own. That is what she was taught and what she knew to be the right way. If you are one of those parents who when asked, what do you want for your child? responds with “I just want my child to be happy”, then you MUST read this book. The whole premise of this wonderful book is that we first must heal ourselves and then we will reap the rewards of a wonderful relationship with our children.

Come on mama’s and papa’s, let’s raise a generation of humans who aren’t emotionally screwed!